Deltarune: except 16
After a bit of a dry spell, I’ll be back
They turned 13 6 months ago, but something tells me they were dreading this.
They wave hello to me, and one of the things handed to them is a book labeled The ABCs and Ups and Downs of puberty for Boys!
And once Emmanuel takes one glance at the book’s cover, his face fades to a dejected frown.
“What’s up?” I ask. “You okay?”
“Sort of.” They say.
Noelle’s POV
I spot Kris in a crowd of people with my cousin Emmanuel. They have a book about puberty in one hand, and have their other one interlocked with Kris’ hand. Emmanuel is the oldest child of my aunt Nicole, a sister on my mother’s side who is notorious for being slow to accept people. I walk over and greet both Kris and Emmanuel, who hands the book back to their younger brother Claus.
Emmanuel takes my hand and we exit into the backyard where they sit on the hanging swing, looking up at the clouds.
The light from the sun catches on Emmanuel’s earring, making it resemble a tiny star.
Deep inside I feel like Emmanuel wants to be who they really feel they are, but they don’t have the courage to share it.
I take their hand and cradle it in mine, sliding one of Dess’ oracle rings onto their finger. They take a long admiring look at the ring, its purple gemstone glinting in the light. They smile. A full radiant grin spreads across their face and a twinkle appears in their eyes. One I haven’t seen in years since that Nutcracker play they did where Emmanuel was cast as Clara because the class cast didn’t have enough girls. I’ve never seen them happier. Despite what others thought, they said it was the best night they’d had in a while.
But that happiness wouldn’t always last. As soon as the play ended, Emmanuel would have to abandon that frilly blue dress for a loose shirt and a pair of baggy basketball shorts. During that time they didn’t have the confidence to make small adjustments to their wardrobe. They went to a clothing store and snuck through the girls section in secret to avoid being found by aunt Nicole and made to put all the leggings and crop tops and blouses back. I could see the look on their face as they trudged back with a handful of polo shirts and loose denim pants. Then when it was time to pay for them, Em didn’t want to. Those clothes weren’t them. They adamantly refused to hand them to the cashier. Aunt Nicole almost forced them to until uncle Geoffrey took Em’s side and told her that if the clothes they brought made them feel good about themself, they should be allowed to wear whatever they please, and that’s when she backed down.
I see a look of surprise flicker into Em’s eyes. They grab their backpack and rapidly rifle through it. Inside is a small trans pride pin with the words she/they written in pen.
I gasp. Em tries to hide it. Then they pause, put the pin out in front of me, and hand me a printed photo of what appears to be them in full makeup…with Dess. Em’s smile is like the one I had in that selfie taken with Dess and his partners.
Dess sneaking into the houses of relatives isn’t a new occurrence. They want to tell people the truth, and open Hometown back up to their presence.
It all fits together now.
“Did Dess…go into your bedroom through your window?” I ask.
“Yeah. They’re really nice.” Em replies quietly. “And Noelle, they told me they’re…trans. Took hormones to drop their voice. But they kept their name. And they’re happy…I want to feel that way too. And this book…This book is showing a process I really can’t imagine myself going through.
Noelle, I think I’m…trans too.”
“Really? Do you plan on changing your name? Some trans and nonbinary people change their names, or in the case of Dess, they keep them.”
“Well…yes.” Em replies. “Now that I realize it, Emmanuel sounds like such a heavy name to carry on these shoulders, and it’s just not mine. It never really felt like it was. And after talking to Dess about it, deep inside, with the way I saw myself, my wardrobe choices, the whole thing with the nutcracker and me wearing makeup, these cool rings, even though not all these interests fit a certain identity, I know that deep down inside I’m a girl. Didn’t know back then, but thanks to Dess and how they’ve always loved me, I know who I am and who I want to be. ”
“What do you think you’ll call yourself?”
“Em for now, but I’ll get ideas.” They reply.
Then they pause. An idea forms in their head. “Hey, maybe you can think of one. Take your time.”
“Sure.” I say. “Is it okay if I keep it close to your nickname?”
Em nods.
“Manny! There you are.” Aunt Nicole says. “We were looking all over for you. Come inside and mingle. And where did you get those rings?”
“Mom.” Em says nervously. “P-please don’t call me Manny. I really don’t like that name.”
“Oh…Apologies.” Aunt Nicole says stiffly. “I..didn’t know.”
“I have to go.” Em says sadly.
“I won’t leave you.” I say. “I promise.”
“Hey!” Kris calls out. “Noelle, look who’s here! Get the door quick.”
I run towards the front door which thankfully, isn’t far. Surprisingly there weren’t many people near the front of the house, which made the journey easier.
I open the door, and there stands Asriel, Kris’ older brother, back from college, which he recently graduated from.
“Azzy!” I gush excitedly. “It’s been years!”
“Hey Noelle!” I feel him hug me, both arms around my waist. “How has everything been?”
“Ah, well…” I trail off. “Things with Mom have been…complicated.”
“Can sort of see why.” Asriel’s tone drops. “It must be hard when she’s on your case all the time.”
I nod in agreement.